Managing Mayhem

One of Allstate's insurance commercials features the character Mayhem. Mayhem is an impish creature who wreaks Havoc, which happens somewhere on the fuzzy border of Malicious and Accidental. The premise of the ad is that Allstate can protect you, if not from Mayhem, at least from loss or deprivation resulting from its activity - wouldn't that be nice?

My husband does not believe in insurance and buys the minimum necessary to be legally compliant. I have always believed in insurance because loss has never been my strong suit. He rarely regrets, and moves on quickly.  Whereas I, ...you get the picture.

Tough stuff happens in life, much of it unpredictable, and irreversible. Death of course, is right up there, the example par excellence. But there are plenty of other instances where things go awry. Plenty.

I've heard Eckhart Tolle say that things are the way they are because they could not be otherwise. To really accept that, and be at peace with all of its ramifications --well I'm no Eckhart Tolle. When I try to imagine living in this way, I visualize walking through the rain with an umbrella up and an inscrutable Zen-like smile on my face. Maybe I could manage in a drizzle.

Photo: Chen Li (Winner, Travel open competition, Sony World Photo Awards 2014)

Getting the job done

Finishing things has never been our strong suit. I would say that unless things have a definite completion date beyond our control - such as an Ebay auction, a discount coupon or a pregnancy, we can find a way to drag them out. I say 'our' because I am not sure whether this is individual or group behavior.

A few years ago we decided that the retractable awning on the back patio needed to be changed.   
We started investigating the cost of a replacement, but then in 2010 (in the throes of sticker shock and the recession) rediscovered the virtues of the umbrella which came with the patio table. That was until the Bronx's first ever tornado touched down and lifted the umbrella into our neighbor's yard.

In September of 2010, we bought a pine cupboard from the Amish in Pennsylvania. This piece of furniture was intended to alleviate some of the clutter from our too-small kitchen which has spilled over into our dining room -which is itself functioning as a home office. After much debate we bought the item unfinished, since finishing it would cost an additional $180.00. It has been sitting in the home office ever since. There has been some progress - we bought some wood finish and a paintbrush.

 In November of 2011 we purchased two paintings in Trinidad. We took them off the wooden frames and rolled them into a tube for ease of transport. The tube is sitting somewhere in the house. These two items are in jeopardy of being forgotten forever. Why? Because we bought them on a whim on the last day of a short trip, rolled them into the tube and stood them up in a closet. They are out of sight, and except for me writing about them now -decidedly out of mind.

Perhaps the most hilarious procrastination of all was the case of my husband's eyeglasses.
He wears contact lenses and uses glasses when his eyes are irritated, or when his allergies flare up. One of the arms broke. No problem. He managed with one arm without complaint or comment.
Then the other arm broke...
Do you know those super long twist-ties that come with children's toys? The little plastic covered wire strips that connect the toy to the cardboard backing within the display box? My husband took two of those and created 'arms' for his glasses. The super long ends, he wound around ( and around, and around) his ears and pronounced it a fix, until he could get to the opticians for a replacement.The fix lasted about 2 years.

These little anecdotes are funny because they are about things which aren't very important. In truth - I don't like the low grade anxiety which accompanies procrastination related to important things, and perhaps that tells me that this not my preferred mode of operation. That is not to say that I don't delay doing important things, because I do.

Maybe our low-priority projects will languish indefinitely - our tolerance for inaction in those areas certainly seems boundless. Or, maybe I will find a way to rally the troops around these half-mast flags...if only they were.

No, this isn't flag raising with smooth resolute action toward glory at the top of the pole. It's more like skeet shooting: a hit or miss affair where brokenness is a sign of success, or at least, that you tried. Pull!