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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Resisting Arrest

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit, or more darkly, to break a bad one. I've been a hopeless Coke addict for several years.The most helpful insight to my situation was contained in the question posed to me on a plane to Shanghai. The man next to me, with whom I'd struck up a conversation asked, "Is it the caffeine, or the fizz that you really crave?" He said that these were Coke's two most addictive components - the taste and the temperature being the others. I stopped, stunned at this truly new perspective. I didn't know. I knew that I could take coffee or leave it. I knew I couldn't drink a flat coke or a hot (room temperature) coke. I knew the latter because that's precisely what they had me drink when I was pregnant to test for gestational diabetes - a room temperature super sweet, super concentrated black cola drink - without the fizz. I hated it. Could it be that I was in it just for the fizz? If that was true then I should be just as happy with a seltzer. I tried drinking Perrier for a while, I loved the refreshing cold fizz, but then I got tired of the blandness. What does this mean except that sometimes the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

The net result is that with the exception of some periods of time when I seem not to crave it very much, I am still an avid Coke drinker. It was so bad (or so good) that I developed a system of grading or rating Coca Cola depending on its source. Coke currently comes in the 12 oz can, the 20 oz bottle, the 1 liter bottle, the 2 liter bottle, the mini glass bottle, and the soda fountains at fast food restaurants. The best tasting Coke ( to me) comes from the soda fountains -- if it is freshly dispensed. I never accept a cup of Coke that's been standing (as happens when they pre-dispense during the lunchtime rush). Besides the fact that all soda fountains are not created equal, each soda fountain is also subject to variation. A Coke pumped early in the morning from a machine resting all night tends to be syrupy and less fizzy than one pumped at lunchtime from the same machine when all cylinders are firing and the seltzer/syrup ratio is optimal. I'm serious.The best tasting Coke is also extremely cold - loaded with ice or just shy of freezing.

My son and I have rated the Mc Donald's in our vicinity and there is one in particular that we will not buy from - reason being the Coke tastes 'soapy' - which means that oil from the fryers must have condensed somewhere in the works of the soda fountain. This is truly spit-worthy.
The next best Coke comes from a can which has been chilled to the brink of freezing. The 2 liter will not taste good for more than a few hours after its opened. The 16 oz bottle is oddly gassy -- way too much fizz and not enough 'Coke' taste.

That being said -- my habit is one 12 oz can a day, or one medium soda fountain drink a day, but not more than 2 cans a day. I like the soda fountain option because the amount of ice they put actually leaves less room for soda. Beyond 2 cans per day, the caffeine gets to me. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself. I know a man who drinks two 2-liter bottles of Pepsi in a sitting. Really. He chugged that down during the course of a 3 hour writing class that we both attended, so God knows how much he really consumes in a day. Maybe I'm not too bad, though it is unnerving to see what Coke does to car paint and I've heard that it can clean toilet bowls. My insides must be squeaky.

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