Getting the Whole Picture

Recently, I was watching a documentary about Alaska. It's a genre ( Alaskan documentaries) which seems to be proliferating in the wake of 'Sarah Palin's Alaska', which I found to be surprisingly interesting, by the way. Alaska the territory is an easy sell: breathtakingly beautiful, pristine, one of the last new frontiers. This particular documentary was looking at the effects of global warming on Alaskan ecosystems. In one scene, humpback whales were being filmed during communal bubble net fishing. There were two layers of filming taking place. Meaning, the on-screen team which was observing and filming the whales was itself being filmed by an unseen camera team - which at one point in the scene was flushed out of hiding by yet another camera team filming from third remove. It was just a film-making technique, but somehow this sudden unmasking was unsettling to me. We don't always see the whole picture. Some things reveal themselves only with time, but some things are deliberately hidden.

I had been shopping for a new dentist, and getting ready to ditch my dentist of the past twenty years. It was a painful process, in no small part because of my difficulty with change, letting go, moving on. But also because of a feeling of betrayal. In this case, when the full picture came to light, it appeared that I got two unnecessary root canals courtesy of a tag-team effort by my dentist and his buddy, the endodontist.

What outed them was the fact that the diffuse jaw pain which had initially prompted me seek treatment, had not varied in quality or intensity a full 2 weeks after the procedure. I confronted the dentists individually - each of whom responded by offering the other's services for free - for another root canal on the last live tooth in the neighborhood - the wisdom tooth. I was incredulous that either of them thought they could ever get me to say Ah again. I responded by visiting The Good Doctor Moore, getting a diagnosis that "this bad boy has to go", and pulling the wisdom tooth. I have been pain free ever since. 

That still left me with two teeth to reconstruct at a hefty cost (even with insurance) and a boiling rage that kept me paralyzed for months. Should I sue them? I didn't have the stamina for it. I felt powerless and to some extent, violated. I also felt that I was partially to blame for my own predicament. I should have questioned more, trusted less.

Finally, as the year opened, I took a deep breath and started interviewing new dentists. I walked into one office and walked right back out. I didn't need to see that dentist - the place was such an energy sink.

I have finally settled on a new dentist who will not be perfect and who will not have my complete trust, but with whom I feel a level of comfort.  I am still somewhat angry, and I have become more assertive not only with my health care professionals, but with authority figures in general. However, It feels good to move forward. Hell, it feels good to move, period.